Xeno Hemlock

I could list a few reasons why I didn’t own it
Despite the triumph, it seemed that I phoned it—
—in but I didn’t; if only I had known it
Should’ve been prouder that I had grown it

A thing of elusion, that what might’ve been
With the power of hindsight and all I had seen
Shall no longer suppress like a shy, little teen
Parade with jubilation like a well-deserved queen

Then came to understanding why I behaved that way
At the last minute withheld the things I needed to say
It’s no big deal to wobble, go a little astray
We forgive rest stops and unexpected delay

Here’s my confession: I felt I wasn’t worthy
Of recognition, admiration, and becoming wealthy
This scummy mindset in the long term isn’t healthy
And makes the hesitation unnecessarily lengthy

Now it’s no longer a question if I ever deserve it
This fire shall keep blazing as long as I preserve it
The discipline of believing, I vow to observe it
My star in the constellation, I will no doubt reserve it